Brilliant 'Skyrim' Theory Explains Why The Guards Are So Useless

I've no doubt we can all agree that the guards in The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim are largely useless. They're easily outwitted, and will quite often quickly forget you were ever there.

Who among us hasn't sent an arrow flying towards a guard's chest or head, only for them to survive the ordeal and brush it off by telling themselves "it must have been the wind"? They continue their patrol with an arrow sticking out of them, and we continue to sneak through the fort undetected.

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There's an obvious answer for why many of Skyrim's NPCs are so dumb and quick to believe they simply imagined the sound of a Dragonborn accidentally shouting from the corner of the room: their AI just isn't that good. But it turns out there's a much better in-universe answer that makes a surprising amount of sense.

Over on Reddit, a user by the name of Mr-Pasta-Parcel has outlined a brilliant theory that explains why the guards of Skyrim are so hilariously bad at their jobs. The long and short of it is that they know full well when the Dragonborn has snuck into a room - they're just not stupid enough to confront them, and will often pretend it was "just the wind" until they go away.

"They are not dumb, it's their best move - and a wise one at that," the Redditor writes. "You live in a world where dragons, giants and mammoths can kill you instantly. The Jarl pays dick and you know that you have no chance. So what do you do? Easy. You saw nothing."

Mr-Pasta-Parcel posits that before long everyone in Skyrim is so terrified of the Dragonborn that they all spread the word and advice each other to play dumb if they want to live.

They conclude: "You tell the other guards, who tell their friends, until everyone in Skyrim realises if you just pretend you can't see him, and don't complain as he fumbles to put a bucket on your head, then he will buy it and you might survive."

I don't know about you, but I'm fully willing to accept this as canon.