Scientists Discover How to Rewind Time In Major Breakthrough

Chrono Trigger fans, rejoice; we are apparently one step closer to time travel, according to a team of scientists from the Austrian Academy of Sciences and the University of Vienna.

Alright, I’ll be honest with you: I’m a bit out of my wheelhouse with this one.

However, I have watched Terminator 2: Judgement Day like eight times, so I’m gonna do my best.

Researchers from the Austrian Academy of Sciences have made a bit of a breakthrough, by both reversing and speeding up the age of a single particle.

This news comes via a report from The Brighter Side Of News' Joseph Shavit, who explains that researchers at the Institute of Quantum Optics and Quantum Information in Vienna have successfully altered the age of a single particle in a non-observed environment.

So, why is it a big deal that it was done this way? Well, directly observing a particle apparently causes it to change, so this is the first recorded instance of it such a thing occurring without observation.

If that sounds vague, well, look man– I have a degree in English, not Quantum Physics. Read the study if you want the specifics.

But does this breakthrough mean that we can suddenly travel through time? If we can now speed up the age of a single particle, can I launch myself into 2026 and play Grand Theft Auto VI right now?

No, obviously– this test was only successfully performed on a single particle in a quantum environment. Again, I don’t have the credentials to properly explain the specifics of that to you, but the short of it is that it doesn’t work on humans.

But if that’s the case, what’s the application of all this? For the time being, there isn’t one. However, the researchers behind the project do believe that this is a revolutionary first step in making time travel possible… although they also state that we’re definitely a long way off making that a reality.

Just gimmie a heads up when it’s ready, so I can head back to 2009 and buy a bunch of Bitcoin.

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