'Elden Ring' Players Are Making Monstrosities In The Character Creator And Oh God My Eyes

It’s fairly safe to say that we’ve found the game of the year already, haven’t we? I don’t think there was a person out there who thought that Elden Ring was going to be a flop, but the level of critical acclaim it’s gotten is absolutely wild. Not that we disagree here at GAMINGbible, mind you - in his review, our very own Ewan Moore said that “the ambitious open-world successor to the Dark Souls series is maddeningly punishing, impossibly vast, and endlessly rewarding”, and that it’s “FromSoftware’s best game to date; a modern masterpiece that will surely go down as one of the greats.”

It should be no surprise then that since its release yesterday, gamers have already been sinking hours upon hours of time into the game, as they should be (some places have even been giving people time off work to play it). However, according to Reddit, it seems that a lot of people have been spending way too long on the character creator screen.

Before we go on, be sure to check out the launch trailer for Elden Ring below.

Look, I get it. Making your character is important, and it’s crucial that you get it right. This is the face you’re going to be stuck with for this entire adventure, after all. That’s why I’m even more confused about some of these absolute monstrosities that people have been creating. Allow me to share. 

Exhibit A - meet Grape Man. Is he a man shaped grape, or a grape shaped man? No one may ever know. Those huge, compassionate eyes, and a big wide smile make for a creation who’s not exactly terrifying, but you still wouldn’t fancy meeting him in a dark alley. 

Here’s another, who, by the creator’s admission, is an abomination. Though he has defined cheekbones that would make anyone jealous, and very luscious eyelashes, this green fellow has seen things. I don’t know what he’s seen, and I don’t want to know. I would not fancy my chances in a fight with him.

Finally, and I have to give you a warning for this - this one isn’t horrifying, but could make you fall madly in love. Behold, handsome Shrek. This recreation of Shrek’s human appearance from the best movie sequel of all time is genuinely incredible, and is definitely what peak male performance looks like. Allow yourself to bask in his glory for a moment.

Given that we’re not even two full days in to the game’s release yet, I’m sure we’re going to see even more works of art like this pop up on the internet before long, which I don’t know about you, but I’m very excited about. Forget the actual gameplay, the character creation screen is where it’s at.