Tom Holland as Link proves live-action Zelda is an awful idea

I am as big a Zelda fan as you could hope to find. I’ve clocked well over 300 hours on Breath Of The Wild. I replay The Wind Waker, Majora’s Mask, and A Link To The Past at least once a year. I have a Saria body pillow that I nuzzle into whenever life starts to get too much*. Of course I would love to see Nintendo adapt Zelda into a TV series or movie. 

But come on: who in their right mind really thinks that live-action is the way to go for The Legend Of Zelda? 

Earlier this week a Facebook user by the name of Dan Leveille released a series of genuinely convincing AI-generated posters for a live-action Netflix adaptation of The Legend Of Zelda. I say they were convincing because they look exactly as awful as any right-thinking person would expect a live-action Zelda to look. This is no slight against Dan, to be clear. I suspect this is the point he was trying to make. Kind of like that infamous April Fool’s prank where IGN posted a terrible looking trailer for a Zelda movie. 

It’s not like the hypothetical casting is bad, either. Tom Holland as Link? Never heard the hero of Hyrule say more than two words, but I could totally imagine Holland giving the character life and depth. Emma Watson as Zelda? Sure! Idris Elba as Ganondorf? Hell yeah. You wanna bring these actors in to voice the roles in an animated adventure, and I am all for it. 

Remember how truly terrible Nintendo’s first attempt at a live-action Super Mario Bros movie was? And don’t say it was underrated or better than I remember, okay? This isn’t Twitter, and we will not be reevaluating shitty movies. Now look at how much better The Super Mario Bros. Movie from Illumination looks. Regardless of your feelings on a certain Christopher Pratt, it’s abundantly clear that the animated Mario movie looks and feels much, much better. Zelda is the same. 

However much some fans might want it to be, The Legend Of Zelda is not The Lord Of The Rings. Sure, Zelda can go dark (and often does), but it should never, ever shoot for realism. It’s a franchise that’s at its best when it embraces the weird and wonderful. Tribes of rock guzzling Goron. Talking boats. Weird spectral hands that creep out of toilets asking for spare paper. Hell, just look at this gorgeous Majora’s Mask short film and tell me this isn’t the kind of Zelda movie you want to see. 

The bottom line is Zelda can do and be so much more as an animated adaptation. Just imagine a Pixar-style take on The Wind Waker, or a Ghibli-esque retelling of Ocarina Of Time. Now picture Tom Holland, dignity visibly wilting in a dumb green cap as he runs around Hyrule with a CGI fairy voiced by Taylor Swift. Tom Holland doesn’t need that. You and I don’t need that. Zelda doesn’t need that. 

*That last one was a lie.