Life-Size Slowpoke Plushie Is Here, Bow Down To Its Glory

Hugs, right? Remember those? For the longest time now, we've been told, no, no hugs. At least with other humans anyway. Oversized plushie Pokémon, though? Nobody's broadcasting from Number 10 to tell me I can't snuggle with a not-so-pocket-sized monster. So, I just might.

As reported over on Kotaku, a life-size plushie of the Pokémon Slowpoke is about to go on sale in Japan - and at this stage of the week, there's little I'd like more than the warm, soft crush of this thing just flopping on top of me. This Slowpoke measures 59 inches in length and weighs a solid 17 pounds, more than enough to feel good when you're the filling between it and an equally comfortable mattress.

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More details on this wonderfully oversized toy can be found on the official Pokémon site, albeit in Japanese unless your device can translate. Retailing at 49,500 yen (just under £320), this isn't a cheap play-pretend pet - but once it's yours, you don't need to feed it, or take it to the vets, and you'll never have to send it away to live on a farm, so... it's great value, really. Pre-orders are open now, with delivery expected in November.

I love the little messages on the site, showcasing this absolute unit. It might be the translation, but how can you not love a caption that reads, "The face is so big!" Yes, it is. And there's more where that comes from. We also get "The body is so voluminous and chewy" (I'm guessing that it should be "big and soft"), and that this is a "Slowpoke Paradise". Best of all, "You can have a good dream every day with Slowpoke." I'm in, now, what's the airfare for this beauty?

Naturally, this isn't the first massive Pokémon plushie, and it won't be the last. We've already seen a Dragonite that's a metre and a half tall, and then there was that Ditto that you can sit on. On Ditto's face. You. Can sit on Ditto's face. Stop it.

Topics: Pokemon