'Total War: Medieval II' On Mobile Is Both Excellent And Infuriating

It’s 1180AD, your boy Gregory is playing a lute in the oriel window of the castle as a soft breeze wafts through. You’ve crusaded halfway across the known world to reclaim the holy land and liberated a handful of French cities along the way. You’re getting into heaven for sure because the Pope promised it. Life is good.

Welcome to the mobile world of Total War: Medieval II - a game that was first released for the PC way, way back in 2006. A release sandwiched between the excellent Rome: Total War and Shogun: Total War, Total War: Medieval II can be accurately described by most as “one of the Total War games”. And it is. Not the prettiest, nor the most optimised title in the franchise, it’s often overlooked by its brethren but, for me, it’s always held a special place in my heart as my entry point to the series.

Have a look at the trailer for Total War: Medieval II on mobile right here.

The very idea that a game as extensive as Total War: Medieval II (at least by 2006 computing standards) would one day squeeze itself lithely onto a mobile phone would have dumbfounded me as a 16-year-old, and even as a 32-year-old I’m still slightly baffled by how mobile developers Feral Interactive (original game devs were Creative Assembly, of course) have managed it. The game comes in at a princely 3.2GB - though it recommends 4.5GB to account for game saves - so you might have to free up a bit of space depending on your handset. I played the game on a raggedy old Google Pixel 3a XL which meant having to do a bit of app Tetris in order to make it fit, but it just about snuggled in.

As far as the gameplay goes, I can say with confidence that it runs exactly how I remember Total War: Medieval II running on my crusty family PC back in the day. That is to say, mostly it’s excellent, but occasionally it’s ugly. The game is a faithful port, and as such still has some hiccupy moments. Enemy turns still take entirely too long to play out, often clocking in longer than your own turns. This means that for vast swathes of time, you’re twiddling your thumbs as the game calculates which units to move out of, and back into a castle for no reason, or which diplomat it wants to send into your region only to turn them around and head back the way they came on the next turn. I’ve become accustomed to making my move and putting the phone down for two minutes to do something else while it mucks about.

Feral Interactive, SEGA

While the UI has also been overhauled based on user feedback from the mobile port of Rome: Total War, I still found it to be as cluttered and frustrating as much as it was intuitive. Menus are easy to navigate, but selecting armies and agents to go to specific points can be infuriating. Mix in a clumsy camera, and I found myself wildly jabbing at the screen, screaming “why won’t you attack?” at my oblivious generals.

Battles are similarly finicky affairs, but once you get the hang of the UI and start employing some simple tactics, it makes sense. I’d recommend using the custom and historic battle options in the main menu to practice before jumping into a Grand Campaign and getting your army wiped out by some rebels because you don’t know which unit is which.

But, the Grand Campaign calls us all home eventually, and I have to say despite the operational woes, I have to commend Feral Interactive for their ardent representation of Total War: Medieval II - I was once again addicted to conquering Europe. There are 17 historical factions to play, each with their own strengths and weaknesses to take into account. For example, the Holy Roman Empire are strong all-rounders, but lack late game professional armies, the Spanish have excellent naval capability, but a dearth of spear units, and the English, are English. Which is both a blessing and curse in and of itself. You only start with a choice of six, but other factions can be unlocked by defeating them in the main game - see also: wiping them from the face of the earth and erasing their history forevermore - or by doing so in the game menus if you can’t wait that long. 

Feral Interactive, SEGA

Victory for almost every faction involves holding 45 regions including Jerusalem which will take even the most moderately adept players a while to accomplish, so there’s plenty of replay value available if you keep getting the itch.

For me, the main draw of Total War: Medieval II mobile is that I can now play one of my favourite strategy games of all time on the go, wherever I choose to play it. In Hastings, at Agincourt, or even sat upon my own porcelain throne, like the ancient warrior kings of yore. It’s not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but it is honest, marauding fun you can carry in your pocket. At £11.99 and available on iOS and Android compatible devices, anybody who’s been with the Total War series since the middle ages will surely get a kick out of this classic reborn.

Code provided by the publisher, game is available now on iOS and Android.