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The tastiest-looking forbidden snacks in video games I want to eat

The tastiest-looking forbidden snacks in video games I want to eat

I hunger.

Food. Video games. Two completely different things that cross over far more often than you’d expect.

Over the years, we’ve seen food-themed video games (hi, Cooking Mama) and we’ve suffered the wrath of bizarre and off-putting real-life video game-themed foods (I don’t wanna know what a blue Sonic curry would actually taste like). In general, games are full of enticing and genuinely mouthwatering culinary delights, from Skyrim’s goat cheese wheels to Undertale’s butterscotch cinnamon pie. However, much like the real world, they’re full of forbidden snacks that definitely aren’t supposed to be edible, but even so, you can’t help but wonder what they’d taste like. Or maybe that’s just me. Either way, I’m dragging you along on this cursed thought process with me.

Before we get into it, feast your eyes on these delicious Pokémon pancakes below.

Chuchu Jelly (The Legend of Zelda)

The first time I played through The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild and exploded a Chuchu, to be greeted with numerous blobs of glistening blue jelly, I was thrilled on Link’s behalf. In my life, I don’t think I’ve ever consumed a blue food or drink that hasn’t been delicious. Admittedly, no, I never tried the aforementioned blue Sonic curry, but instead think of bubblegum ice cream, raspberry slushies, or blue Smarties. Now, to have that in jelly form? That sounds like a delight.

Unfortunately, the game is not accommodating of my wishes. Link is simply banned from throwing one of these tantalising blobs straight into his mouth, and if he attempts cooking it, instead, he just produces Dubious Food. I refuse to believe something that looks so good is considered to be inedible.

Potions (Pokémon)

Okay, hear me out. In the Pokémon universe, the most common healing items - Potions - function like spray medicines to patch up any poor Pokémon’s injury. The descriptive text for them says as much in the majority of the games, and in the anime series, we see them used in this way, too.

However, I somehow completely overlooked this point when I was a young Pokémon fan, and fully believed that the sprites of the regular, Super and Hyper Potions depicted colourful bottles overflowing with a tasty froth. I don’t think you can blame me for imagining this given that they’re literally called Potions, but admittedly my reading comprehension could have done with a little work. To this day, I still can’t get the idea of sipping one of these things out of my head. The regular ones would taste like a thick blueberry smoothie, I reckon. Mmm.

Mushroom platforms (New Super Mario Bros. series)

Honestly, I’m not really an enormous fan of mushrooms in real life. I’m not going to kick up a fuss if I find any on a slice of pizza, but equally, I’d much rather it be pineapple (hot take, I know). Despite this, the first time I played through New Super Mario Bros. DS and encountered the plethora of springy, bendy, and colourful mushroom platforms in the sky-based levels, all I wanted to know was what it’d be like if you just bit through one of them. Would it even be possible? Based on the fact that they can take Mario’s entire body weight quite easily, you’d imagine that they’d probably be ultra chewy at best, or rock hard at worst. Not ideal. Even so, perhaps it’s the jolly colours, but they just look like they’d be delightfully sweet, and maybe a bit marshmallowy in the middle. Mario would look a bit weird if he actually tried this, though.

New Super Mario Bros. DS. /
Nintendo / Basileous Productions via YouTube.

Bells (Animal Crossing)

I’ve never been able to look at Bells in Animal Crossing without thinking that they look just like chocolate coins. They’re clearly not, because in Animal Crossing New Leaf, everyone’s favourite stowaway, Gulliver, can give you actual in-game chocolate coins if you answer his questions incorrectly. That doesn’t make me want to munch the actual in-game currency any less, though. Just don’t tell Tom Nook.

Prismatic Shards (Stardew Valley)

Prismatic Shards are some of the rarest items that can be found in Stardew Valley. They can be used to obtain an ultra-rare Galaxy Sword, or even to get rid of your in-game children if you’re feeling ruthless. But just look at that sprite and tell me - wouldn’t it be so much better to eat them? They look exactly like hard boiled sweets, who cares how valuable they are? You’d probably break all your teeth trying to consume one of these things, but you can’t tell me you wouldn’t at least give it a cursory lick.

Yoshi eggs (Mario series)

Can you believe that we’ve never actually seen anyone eat a Yoshi egg before? Considering how easily the Yoshi species can produce them, it’s wild that seemingly no one in the Mario universe has considered using them as a food source.

Don’t worry, I’m not suggesting that it’d be a good idea to chow down on baby Yoshis. We know from the likes of Yoshi’s Island DS and the Super Smash Bros. series that it’s possible for the cute dino fellas to lay empty eggs, since they can be thrown as projectiles. By all accounts, they seem to shatter quite easily, and they don’t appear to have any yolks inside. I can only imagine that it’d be like eating the outside of a Cadbury’s Mini Egg - a sugary, crunchy treat. Or maybe it’d just taste like eggshell. I still want to find out.

Star Rod (Kirby)

What is it with the Kirby series making everything look absolutely delicious? In Kirby’s Dream Buffet, they really went all-in on that fact, and it’s fair to say that I don’t think any other multiplayer party game out there looks more delicious. That doesn’t count in this list, though, since all the stuff in that game is actually supposed to be edible.

Let me draw your attention to the Star Rod - a legendary magical artefact and the entire power source for the Fountain of Dreams. It’s a pretty big deal in the Kirby universe, and not something to be messed with. Contrary to this, it also looks a whole lot like a lollipop, and if I were Kirby, I don’t think I’d be able to resist giving it a taste. What’s the worst that could happen?

Kirby and the Star Rod. /

Med-Mist (Fortnite)

There are plenty of edible healing items in Fortnite, from the Fanta-esque Slap Juice, to the lil Floppers chilling out in ice boxes around the map. Perhaps it’s because pretty much all of the healing items are consumable that I can’t help but feel that the Med-Mist looks rather refreshing, too.

Much like Pokémon’s Potions, as the name would suggest, Med-Mist is a spray medicine, but in this instance, it doesn’t have a delectable-looking sprite to confuse me. This time, my only argument is that the spray itself is bright green, and (to me at least) looks like one of those sour apple candy sprays. Given how exuberantly Fortnite characters apply it to their faces, you’d certainly hope it’d have some pleasant flavour (even if directly eating it probably isn’t recommended).

There we have it. Was this at all relatable? Maybe not! But I said what I said, and now you’ve been forced to think about it, too. Anyone hungry?

Featured Image Credit: Nintendo, @spiceadams via Twitter

Topics: The Legend Of Zelda, Mario, Pokemon