Bang-On Balls: Chronicles review: a chaotic and ballsy sandbox

As of writing this review, Bang-On Balls: Chronicles has an overwhelmingly positive rating on Steam, mostly clocked up during the game’s early access period. I feel like this is a critical thing to mention because on the surface, this felt like a game that would split an audience. Colour me surprised when I saw that most people seem to love it.

My doubt came, initially, from the concept of Bang-On Balls (which will never stop being a funny title). You see, ultimately this is a sandbox game featuring the loosest of guidance. It’s a bit like Goat Simulator in that way. You’re plonked into a world full of interactivity and told, “Go do these vague things, but above all, have fun” and on the way you’ll enjoy bonkers moments from the physics or serendipity.

For example, the first level I tried had a medieval theme. There were lots of Vikings out to kill me yet I had to destroy their boats; three boats on the water, three inside a fort, and three hidden away in some caves. There’s no signage telling players where to go, there are no hints. I spent most of my time rolling around or bouncing on the heads of the Viking enemies in the hope I’d stumble across a boat.

Inevitably I did find the boats and for each batch of three they were destroyed in mere seconds. I’d spent the bulk of my time barging into enemies to send them flying, or destroying everything else I stumbled across, like cages holding other balls; balls as in AI characters, not just balls.

Untold Tales Games

I guess, before we go any further, I should address the elephant big balls in the room. Bang-On Balls seems to be based on the common meme templates where a ball with a country’s flag on it argues or makes jokes with another ball with a flag on it. That’s about as far as the concept goes though. It’s merely a vehicle to give the balls a bit of personality. When the game first starts you can choose a flag and kit out your ball with masks, different eyes, hats, and more.

Those customisation options are key here because each level is littered with items that, when interacted with or rolled over, become cosmetic. Defeating the Viking leader unlocks a traditional Viking helmet, hammer, and shield which can then be equipped. These are purely cosmetic, but they add a little flair to your balls. Cosmetics can also be unlocked by spending energy - collected when breaking structures or treasure chests - at gumball machines or given to NPC-type characters.

I thought I was going to hate this game. The first 20 minutes of my time with Bang-On Balls I was getting a little frustrated with the lack of guidance. Then I tried to start thinking like a kid surrounded by toys. If I go over to that area I can see a cage I can break open; or, if I venture beyond that treeline I might find a new area to explore. I found myself playing as if it were a stream of consciousness, bouncing around from place to place, being distracted by shiny things.

Untold Tales Games

Eventually, I ticked off the few vague tasks and found myself facing off against a boss version of the Viking balls. What transpired was a bonkers, if somewhat overwhelming, experience. Suddenly I found myself put off by being told what to do. Bang-On Balls is great when it allows you to wander off the path and find silly secrets. As soon as it becomes structured in any way it feels constricting.

The game has appeal and can easily pull in players from various demographics. Kids will love the chaos, older players can find a place to blow off steam. Whether Bang-On Balls has a long life depends on your attention span; it was fine to play in ten-minute bursts (perfect for Steam Deck) in between other games, but it contains so many ‘moments’ of carnage that get lost among the pinballing back and forth. For all the carnage, the collectibles, and the skirmishes, it’s not a memorable game, but it is incredibly enjoyable for those few-minute bursts.

Pros: Chaotically free-flowing, often funny, lots to collect and see, bags of personality.

Cons: Can be a little too chaotic at times, overstays its welcome on longer sessions.

For Fans of: Goat Simulator, Teardown, Totally Accurate Battle Simulator.

7/10 Very Good

Bang-On Balls: Chronicles is available now on PC (version tested), PlayStation, XBOX, and Nintendo Switch. A review code was provided by the publisher. Read a guide to our review scores here.