At last, you can own a massive statue of The Great Mighty Poo

I’m going to be real with you, in all my years of life, I’ve never once felt an overwhelming need to own an enormous statue of a turd to proudly display in my home. I don’t think think that’s a particularly hot take, either - I’m not sure how many people would.

If that’s ever been a dream of yours though, your time is now. As PC Gamer reports, toy and model company First 4 Figures has now announced an enormous statue of the Great Mighty Poo from the N64 classic Conker’s Bad Fur Day, which can now serve as a feature piece in your abode. This thing really lives up to its name - although the company hasn’t shared any dimensions, one image which shows the scale of it next to a person proves that it’s a seriously sizeable piece of s**t. This thing is going to need its own dedicated table, or something.

Earlier this year, the iconic N64 game GoldenEye 007 was re-released on Nintendo Switch, Xbox One and Series X/S - take a look at the trailer below.

The statue itself features Conker fighting the Great Mighty Poo - much like the iconic boss fight from the game, the titular squirrel can be seen lobbing a roll of toilet paper into the enemy’s mouth. Unfortunately though, the Great Mighty Poo doesn’t sing in his enormous statue form, which feels like a missed opportunity.

If for whatever reason you want to get your hands on one of these things, preorders open on 3 August, so there’s just a few more days to wait until you can splash some cash on a pile of poo. It’s not clear how much it’s going to cost - those who register their interest in advance can get $10 off their order, but with no price tag to compare that to, I can’t say if that’s a good deal or not. It costs nothing to get the discount, though, so if you’re interested, then you might as well bag a saving. You can submit your email address for a discount code here.