The Switch 2 better have these features or I start a riot

The past few months have seen a deluge of Nintendo Switch 2 rumours as production seemingly started and the console's images began to leak. While some details on the most-talked about console are vaguely confirmed by said leaks - magnetic connectors for the JoyCons, for example - there’s still a great deal we don’t know.

While there are some obvious upgrades we’d like to see, fans of Nintendo are eager for something that revolutionises the industry once again. So, we got to thinking, what do we want to see from the new console? Not what makes sense, what would we include to make it a dreamlike step up from the Nintendo Switch, and here’s what we came up with.

Background themes

Nintendo

For such a family-friendly console, the Switch has very little in the way of personalisation. Aside from the profile image, which can be adjusted to your mood, the console’s OS is rather bland. Bringing in some fire Nintendo themes, particularly dynamic themes, would be brilliant. I’d happily shell out some cash for a Breath of the Wild theme of Link gliding through the air, or a theme based on the Mario Bros crew. When Nintendo puts so much quirky thought into the actual consoles, and side products like the Alarmo, why does this not extend to the dashboard and OS of their systems?

Streetpass comeback

Nintendo

The biggest crime of the Nintendo Switch was not following on from the 3DS and implementing Streetpass as part of the console. I don’t know of a single Nintendo fan who didn’t like Streetpass. The minigames were great fun, the joy of that blinking light when you’d passed by someone. Going to major cities or conventions were more fun than ever with a 3DS. Peak gaming is collecting puzzle pieces brought to you by a random dude wearing a Samus helmet, whose name is something like ‘1337Cheeks’ because you walked past him in the local shopping centre. Now put it on Switch 2 and watch the fans flock to the game.

Pictochat fun

Nintendo

Same goes for Pictochat. I remember, when I first bought the old grey Nintendo DS, taking it to the pub and looking for random people to chat to via Pictochat. It was me and a mate mostly drawing inappropriate images and sending them to each other, but one guy did show up with his DS and joined in. He drew the best picture of a penis I’ve ever seen that wasn’t on a bathroom wall. I doubt Nintendo would want this though, not in current climate of hatred and fingerpointing at people who aren’t your shade of white. Still, would be nice to see little pictures of Zelda sent across the internet again.

Reliable JoyCons

Nintendo

Okay, let us get to more serious suggestions and focus on one of the biggest flaws of the Nintendo Switch - the JoyCons. The controllers themselves are great, don’t get me wrong, but they had two massive flaws that pervaded the first couple of years. Firstly, the mechanical connection to the console was flimsy, resulting in far too many broken rails. Secondly, that stick drift. The new models need to be a serious improvement. Magnetic connections would be one thing - though I’m concerned that won’t be strong enough when playing handheld - but the actual components need to step up. It’s not good enough this happened before, but if it occurs again, Nintendo will make enemies of many.

Better Battery life

Nintendo

I’ve never really had complaints about the Nintendo Switch battery, it’s always done a stand-up job. However, with the imminent jump in power, we’re bound to get from a follow-up console, it’s going to need to improve. As much as I love my Steam Deck, having to charge it constantly drives me mad, but more than this, playing with it plugged in feels like a crime. I really hope that the Nintendo Switch 2 can at least squeeze out a handful of hours before alerting me to its falling power reserves.

Give everything a boost

Nintendo

Now, I will make it clear, while I’d love a 4K, beast of a machine from Nintendo, it’s unlikely that would ever happen. Plus, I don’t think that sort of power would suit a handheld. However, everything under the hood needs a good boost. Scale up those visuals, get some processing power to make the next Pokémon game feel great to play, tweak the sound to create more of a cacophony. The next Nintendo console needs to have some power behind it, but we’re well aware that power does not make a game great. Let’s just have everything running with decent framerates and less blurry, Vaseline visuals.

Slide out second screen

Nintendo

Hear me out. Give us a little screen that folds out from the top of the console. Not only can more games take advantage of the second screen viewpoints, but we can finally get some of those 3DS and DS games on Nintendo Switch Online. It doesn’t have to be a huge screen, but the dual-screen setup of the DS and 3DS was perhaps the best innovation in Nintendo’s history. It opened up genres to so many new mechanics and elements. Of course, it would likely be fragile and ramp up battery usage, but it would bring back some of the best years from Nintendo, while allowing for remasters of games that are difficult to find now. Plus, while you’re at it Nintendo, throw in a DS cartridge slot, too.

More support for retro games

Nintendo

While I’m on the subject of older Nintendo games, the Switch 2 needs to lean into the history of Nintendo with more retro offerings. I don’t care if they’re bundled into Nintendo Switch Online but dig deep into the vaults and bring us those games that defined generations. Tap third-party publishers and get them working on ports and emulations of their old titles. So few video game companies care about the past unless it comes to a remaster, so let’s see Nintendo embrace its history more and deliver some banging classics from the GBA, DS, and 3DS.