Disney Villains Cursed Café is an unexpectedly tasty dose of daily fun

Disney Villains Cursed Café is a title that, on paper, I’d maybe roll my eyes at. I’m a huge fan of Disney and dove into this game shortly after returning from Disneyland Paris, needing that magical fix to continue. I’ll admit though, I was a tad dubious. Disney Villains Cursed Café may feature classic, beloved antagonists but it presents them in an incredibly modern light. This is a visual novel that centres around humour, namely examining the ‘What if?’ scenario of these Disney villains inhabiting a truly millennial world.

That’s where the eye roll came in. The reason why so many of us adore Disney is for its timelessness, and placing Disney Villains within a very specific modern landscape felt juxtaposing of that. The idea of these characters using smartphones and social media didn’t initially strike me as a good one but listen, I’ll be the first to eat my words. Developer Bloom Digital has made a difficult formula work, imbuing Disney Villains Cursed Café with a satirical awareness that makes it quite unlike any other Disney media I’ve consumed.

Disney Villains Cursed Café doesn’t feature millennial culture as a serious attempt at fitting in with today’s consumers. Yes, it reimagines what might make these villains, well, villainous if they existed within today’s world but it does so using satire, poking fun at the pitfalls of our modern culture. Snow White’s Evil Queen, for example, sets up her own pyramid scheme, while Aladdin’s Jafar sets up WyshCoin, a new cryptocurrency. Sleeping Beauty’s Maleficent sets out to become a social media sensation, The Little Mermaid’s Ursula wants to become a reality TV star, and Beauty and the Beast’s Gaston wants to impress his “golf bros”.

You can see why on paper that may translate as something that could come across as cliche, but it’s not at all. Disney Villains Cursed Café’s writing is incredibly accomplished, cementing the game as one that’s definitely best appreciated by adults. There’s nothing inappropriate here if you do have a younger gamer in your life - Disney Villains Cursed Café has a PEGI 3 rating - but they’re likely not going to understand the vast majority of what’s being said. And Disney Villains Cursed Café is a visual novel first and foremost.

Visual novels are, fair to say, passive. You’re absorbing a story, albeit whilst completing a few simple gameplay actions. The café setting here could have you believing that you’re entering a café manager, but you’d be wrong to assume that. While, yes, you do create potions for the customers of your potions café, it’s pretty regimented and driven by the story. During your conversations with the villains, they’ll put in an order. You’ll then have to consult your potions book and select the correct ingredients before pressing brew. That’s pretty much it, with successful brews allowing the conversation to continue.

All in all, you’ll only brew a handful of potions a day. There’s nothing complex about it, but I do think visual novels benefit from this kind of participation - something to ensure the player remains engaged, which I most definitely did. If you do concoct the wrong potion, you can ‘redo’ a day thanks to a potion provided by The Emperor's New Groove’s Yzma. To be honest though, you’ll only really go wrong if you’re not paying attention. Villains are pretty specific about what they want and you can always go back and look over the dialogue, with key words and phrases highlighted in a different colour. Your goal, I should add, is to satisfy your customers so you can gather clues about the former owner of the café who’s mysteriously disappeared.

Disney Villains Cursed Café isn’t a long game; you can complete it in three or four hours, I’d say. My recommendation though is that you enjoy it in small doses. There are, if I recall correctly, 20 in-game days to work through with each taking perhaps around 10 minutes or so. Complete more than three days in a row and things may begin to feel repetitive, and it really isn’t worth reaching that point, otherwise you’ll rush through the dialogue and miss out on the true heart of this title. If you pick up the game in bite-sized chunks however, it’s infinitely more delicious. It became a routine of mine to hop into bed in an evening and work through the next couple of in-game days, reuniting with my unconventional customers in the cosiest possible way.

Disney Villains Cursed Café is exactly what a ‘cosy game’ should be, and it’s refreshing to see a Disney title that isn’t afraid to speak directly to its adult fans. I also found it plays flawlessly on the new Nintendo Switch 2. In fact, in my opinion, it’s a game best experienced in a handheld format to capitalise on the title’s cosy nature. If you haven’t yet picked it up, perhaps now is the time to do so as I’ve had a deliciously wonderful time.

Disney Villains Cursed Café is out now on Steam, PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X/S, Nintendo Switch (version tested).